Something on My Mind

I may have previously written about this elsewhere. I don’t know. But it’s something that has been bothering me a lot this year.

As a teacher, I am uncomfortable with the idea that a student’s diagnosis serve as an excuse for their behavior or academic performance. In other words, if a student is diagnosed with ADHD or anxiety, for example, it’s critical that we support them in identifying, and using, strategies to help them self-regulate in order to learn better. So, when someone says, ‘Well, they have ADHD, so…’ So, what? would be my retort. Children who are neurodiverse will benefit from using their strengths in tandem with high expectations and support to experience success and enhance their self-confidence.

Let me explain.

At the beginning of this school year, I had several students tell me that they had ADHDS and therefore needed to use a fidget in the classroom. None of these students have an IPP (IEP in the US) or any comment in their files stating that they are required to have a fidget in class to help them focus.

Somehow, someone had convinced them that they needed one, thereby helping to create a dependency on an external object to self-regulate and to excuse their behavior or performance because of their diagnosis.

Needless to say, these particular students brought fidgets to school that functioned more as toys and caused distractions in teaching and learning. Instead of helping students focus, these objects did the opposite.

I consider myself to be a flexible teacher that considers individual student needs when planning for the learning environment. I don’t expect students to be sitting at their desks all day long or subscribe to a quiet classroom all the time. In fact, I try to create a space that allows for as much student choice as possible given the typical constraints we encounter in schools.

This year I feel like a brand new teacher. I have more students with complex behaviors and self-limiting beliefs than ever before. Supporting these students, including putting out fires on a daily basis, takes up a lot of energy and time. None of the tools in my toolbox is having a lasting impact on these students or helping them to develop positive relationships.

So, I’m relying on something so simple that I don’t know why I didn’t do it before.

In the mornings we have a soft entry to the school day. The children come in with stories they want to tell, both to me and to each other. And I listen. I notice. I ask questions. I make a point of using humor to make the start of the day begin on a positive note. I’m noticing that the sense of the class at these times is more relaxed and friendly.

Then, we can start our day.

This is not the only thing I do and while it’s not fancy, it’s working.

An Amalgam of Days in the Life of a Teacher

In math, students had to determine what fraction of a rectangle was shaded. They debated whether it was 1/3 or 1/4. (The rectangle was cut into three parts – 1/2 and 2/4. The shaded part was 1/4 of the whole.)

I had to bite my tongue not to interfere in their conversation. Instead, I listened and asked some questions afterwards. Still learning how to do this.

Meanwhile, a group was playing a math game and, to make it more fun, so they said, they added a gambling component. Needless to say, that was not the objective of the game. Although, I could find their initiative and creativity admirable, I’ll leave those musings for another time.

One of my students reminded me that we did not have an art class this week…again. I am always amazed who notices what in the class. This week I will have to carry out the art plan I’ve been forced to postpone on more than one occasion.

Two snowballs were getting married off by my students during recess. They attempted to make one bigger than the other because, of course, the groom had to be taller and the groom is always a boy even though we’ve had discussions about gender identification.

Unfortunately, the snow balls melted before the marriage ceremony could take place.

A colleague came to talk with me at the end of the day.

I was in the middle of sorting through student assignments and was annoyed at the interruption. Nevertheless, I ended up enjoying our conversation and picked up a few ideas I could use in my classroom.

I packed lightly when I left school. Despite thinking that I have another 8 hours of work time when I get home, personal experience has taught me otherwise.

I tried out a new class at the gym and I liked it!

I went to the public library.

I look forward to sharing new books with my students, even though it has been difficult to find titles that the majority of this class will want to read. Most of the children prefer graphic novels; they rarely venture outside their comfort zone.

When I got home, I left my backpack next to the garage door.

I didn’t bring it up to the den like I always do just in case I want to catch up on school work. I rarely do. Still learning.

Today was a day much like many others: typical, but scattered with unusual moments and opportunities for reflection.

What does a typical day look like for you?

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries doesn’t come easy to me, but I’m learning even when it feels uncomfortable.

I don’t protect my time well. I tend to say ‘yes’ more often than I say ‘no’.

I bring my work life into my home life; I struggle to separate the two.

As a new teacher, I wish I hadn’t rebuffed the idea that we are not defined by our jobs or professions; we are more than that. Instead, I prided myself as a teacher who worked long hours and gave all of herself to her profession. Even now, I find it difficult to reject the idea that by setting boundaries between work and home I am somehow betraying myself. Yet, it is absolutely true that by giving more of my mental and physical energy to my career, I am giving less to everyone else around me, including myself.

This year I’ve made some changes that have improved my mental health, so that I feel less overwhelmed, but also good about teaching again. At the very least, I am putting challenging situations in perspective and learning not to internalize the negative.

Change #1: I stay an hour past the end of the day two or three days a week. During this time, I respond to children’s work. I plan for the next day. I respond to parent emails. I organize my notes.

My goal during these times is to increase my productivity while at school.

Change #2: Every day after school, I go to the gym or for a long walk.

Sometimes I take a class. Other times, I walk around the track and lift weights.

Change #3: I write every day for at least twenty minutes.

I have a few projects on the go and scheduling time to write allows me to make progress on my writing.

Change #4: In my conversations with others, I make an effort to only talk about funny incidents or what went well. I keep this light and brief.

I recognize that this can be hard sometimes, especially if I’m having a hard day. As a calming strategy, though this may seem counter intuitive, I sometimes vent into the pages of my teacher journal. Meditating also helps.

Change #5: I stop what I’m doing and listen to my students as they come in at the beginning of the school day because that always makes me smile.

Of course, this is a process and while there will be progress, there may also be setbacks as we implement new habits and behaviors. So, we need to give ourselves grace as we embark on this journey. One step at a time. One habit change at a time.

What changes have you made so that you feel more energized and productive? Share in the comments section below so we can all support each other. Thank you!

Be Curious

Be curious.

I’ve heard this particular piece of advice from other educators when confronting a puzzling classroom situation or student.

And I heard it again last night from my daughter, an amazing and compassionate social worker, as I recounted a challenging experience with a student.

Remember: that student’s behavior is happening for a reason, she said. Figure it out. Be curious!

So, here I am. Committing to being curious. Not only for this one child, but for everyone I interact with that exhibits frustrating, quizzical behavior that I can’t figure out…yet.

It’s a puzzle.

So, be curious.

Notice and wonder.

Listen.

Ask questions…gently.

Explore.

Probe.

Be curious.

And, be patient.

How do you maintain a stance of curiosity in your classroom?

Designing Content for Teachers – what do teachers need?

Sometimes having too many choices can be daunting.

Whether we’re talking about brands of cereals or classroom instructional strategies or about which educator is the latest one to follow, too many choices is not necessarily helpful.

Sometimes less is more.

Yet, social media has created a thirst for quantity and a dearth of quality.

I’ve gotten myself into several rabbit holes, as a result. I’ve subscribed to too many blogs and websites that entice teachers by offering a free product that, at a (quick) glance, looks acceptable. But most everything else is mediocre or not free. Not to mention that it takes away teachers’ sense of themselves as professional decision-makers.

It’s easy for busy, overwhelmed teachers to fall into this trap. It has happened to me and I consider myself a discriminating, critical thinker.

My inbox fills up. My mind gets cramped. My professional integrity is compromised.

It’s easy to fall prey to a pretty website with a couple of free products. Once you get them, you’re stuck getting weekly emails enticing you to buy this or that because a subscription is required to get whatever was free at the moment.

It’s more than overwhelming. It takes advantage of teacher exhaustion and it is unethical.

As a profession, teaching has become increasingly about the glitter. Everybody has something to “sell”.

As I get closer to the end of my career as a classroom teacher, I want to create quality content for teachers without a price tag attached to it. I’m aware that this is not the norm, despite the fact that a handful of educators are doing it.

I know this is a little risky. We’ve become accustomed to thinking that the things you pay for (the more expensive the better), are therefore more valuable. This isn’t always true.

So, what kinds of things would support teachers, especially beginning teachers, to improve their practice and exercise their autonomy in order to be more authentic in their classrooms?

I am thinking podcasts, videos, handouts and more that would be beneficial for teachers as they work through the challenges of teaching. What do you think?Please leave a comment below. Thank you!

Identity Musings

I am a white woman.

I also identify as Latinx.

Growing up I din’t think of myself as white because my family was culturally different from all the white people around me. We were Cuban. We spoke Spanish and our cultural beliefs were different. Our superstitions were also different or, should I say that we harbored many superstitions about the natural world that I couldn’t talk to my friends about or they’d think I was crazy. And, maybe I was but, as my mother would say: ‘Nunca se sabe, Elisita. Por si acaso.’

What I didn’t realize then was that my skin color afforded me privileges and opportunities that were not as easily available to people of color. And, it’s only recently that I’ve come to understand that because of my privileges, I also have responsibilities.

I struggle with my identity. Everyone looks at me and sees a white woman with access to all of the privileges afforded white women in our society. And, of course, they’re right, but that’s not the whole story.

There are more identities I connect to than what I’ve written about so far, but to include all of them here will muddy the focus of this post.

If truth be told, this could certainly be the topic of an entire book, memoir-ish or fiction. And although I’ve talked about this before, I’ve been exploring some of my own learned racism and how it sometimes manifests in my life.

For someone who considers herself progressive, these realizations have been hard to come by.

But before I go any further, let me clarify that this is my feeble attempt to muse about who I am, how others see me and how I then show up in the world.

Being white and Latinx allows me access into two very different worlds, and not always equally. However, I take this privilege seriously: I can blend in with white people and take advantage of this position to be an ally, an upstander, a disrupter. And, as a white Latinx person I recognize the internal racism of my friends and family.

So, I am perfectly positioned to fight back against racism, internalized or otherwise, by pointing it out, questioning it, listening to and learning from people of colour and by speaking up when they can’t.

I am at the beginning of this journey.

I’ve taken, and will continue to take, many missteps along the way because anyone who thinks they are not racist is in denial. We live in a racist society. In order to do better, I acknowledge and interrogate these mistakes.

I owe it to myself, my family and my students to stay steady on this journey towards a better, antiracist world.

New Musings

I’ve been neglecting my blog.

No matter how many reminders I set. It hasn’t made a difference.

No matter how many notifications ping on my phone telling me it’s time to write a blog post. It hasn’t helped.

Then, I decided to try a life coach. It was one of the best decisions I’ve made. She helped me identify what I wanted to work on so I could set goals and intentions for myself. It was after one such coaching session that I decided to set a goal to write every day. Not that I haven’t done this before. Believe me! I’ve set many goals to write regularly, but for some reason, nothing has worked in the past.

Since setting my intention and having an accountability partner of sorts (my life coach), I have been writing every day, and not just in my journal, though that’s valuable, too. Mostly, I’ve been working on a variety of writing projects every day for 20 – 30 minutes…after I shower and before I start my evening routines at home.

And it’s working!

I started a week ago and, except for one day on the weekend, I’ve been writing every day and it feels good.

Some days, I wonder what would happen if I skipped a day. Because when I get home from school, I am tired. And, now that I’ve cemented an exercise habit, I am working on two big habits at the same time.

But I won’t skip a day if I can help it and, most of the time, I can. It’s my commitment to myself. I take that seriously.

Both habits are important to me. What has helped is that I started one habit and worked on that for a few weeks before starting the second one.

So, one day out of the week, I will work on a blog post and publish it as soon as possible.

I have a writing project that has been percolating for a year or more now and I’ve started to work on that. It feels satisfying to be making progress!

I also want to work on some fiction writing, which is scary for me. But someone once told me that we are wired to do hard things and it turns out that person was right.

So, if you’re following me, I hope you’ll read these sometimes random, sometimes muddy, thoughts about teaching, learning, writing and reading.

I know how busy we all are. I sometimes read a blog post and really want to engage in a conversation, but then I hold back. I get it. I once challenged myself to respond to every blog post I read, even if it was a short comment. It worked for a while. It felt satisfying and joyful to be part of a conversation. Maybe I need to go back to doing that…

So, what are you musing about right now?

Black and White and Gray

Free writing. Journal writing.

I’ve shunned this in the past thinking that it was a go-to for teachers wanting to include writing in their classrooms without actually having to teach writing. But it turns out I call it silent writing and it’s basically the same thing.

My students and I write for 5 minutes at the beginning of writing workshop. I usually provide them with a prompt related to the current writing unit.

Recently, I participated in a free writing session after engaging in an activity to generate ideas. I really enjoyed the exercise and the writing time. Generating ideas, in and of itself, would help my students when they don’t know what to write about. And if we share before writing, it would get them ready to write with greater confidence.

I am blogging about this because it reveals some things about me as a person that I don’t particularly like.

I’ve always seen the world as black and white, struggling to recognize the grays. Not understanding the value of the grays and seeing them as the easy way out. The middle ground, which is nothing if not safe. Taking a stand means to be on one or the other side of a binary. I’ve resisted the in-betweens. The messy side of things. The conflicting emotions. Either/or has suited me just fine.

I always thought that not taking a stand for or against something was a sign of weakness. I still believe that some things are not negotiable or debatable, they truly are black and white, but most things are firmly in the gray zone.

And that’s OK.

Recognizing that about myself and giving voice to it allows me to confront it head on. This way I can continue to become a better teacher (and human) tomorrow than I was yesterday.

Science of Reading? No, thank you.

Who’s tired of hearing about the Science of Reading (SoR) advocates and their accusations that teachers don’t teach phonics and that’s why kids aren’t reading at “grade level”, whatever that means?

I know I am.

And, here I thought that the irrelevant ranking of kids reading at a 3.7 grade level was a thing of the past.

At its core, the SoR movement doesn’t trust teachers’ experiences and expertise when it comes to reading. Proponents of SoR believe that all children need phonics, and all the other related technicalities of reading, in order to read. Comprehension is a distant idea. The issue is sounding out words.

Don’t be distracted from what really matters: just in time, intentional instruction for individual students and groups of children. No child learns in the same way or at the same rate as the child next to them. Therefore, all children need informed teachers who observe and plan appropriate instruction. If it’s phonics, then that’s what is taught.

It’s not an either/or proposition, but this and that.

SoR is a diversion. As a teacher, it does not add anything to my understanding of how children learn to read or how to best teach my students. SoR is a simplification and a miscommunication (deliberate) about what the research says and doesn’t say and which research is going to be highlighted and which research will be buried because it doesn’t suit the SoR supporters.

It is disheartening to see so many holistic educators sidle up to SoR in order to profit from it or to maintain their king/queen of the mountain status. Some educators that I had previously learned a lot from, and whose previous resources I still use, are bending over backwards to satisfy SoR demands. Or they’re making small and medium shifts in their pedagogy to “fit in”.

Harsh? Maybe, but that’s that.

I am currently reading Reading’s Non-Negotiables by Rachel Gabriel. It is a highly readable book that illustrates seven non-negotiables in the reading classroom.

*Taken from the Table of Contents of this book.

They are: (1) Every reader chooses what they will read. (2) Every reader reads accurately. (3) Every reader reads something they will understand. (4) Every reading intervention is balanced to incorporate meaning. (5) Every reader writes about something meaningful (to them). (6) Every reader talks with peers about reading and writing. (7) Every reader listens to a fluent reader read aloud.*

I will be writing more about these seven non-negotiable in future blog posts. In the meantime, feel free to leave a comment below. Thank you!

I’m Done Waiting

I’m sick. Again. But this time I’m trying hard not to crawl into a “crud hole”, as my children like to call it.

But I’m restless.

I’m aware of a rising sense of anxiety or nervousness: what am I going to do so that the politics of work don’t get to me. I do that too much.

I’ve always done that.

It affects my physical well-being. I know that now…sort of because to accept this means that I’m in control. I’m in charge. I’m the boss of me. I’m not a victim. And, of course, since I am a skeptic at heart, I am often doubtful that I can change myself.

But, the truth is that I don’t need to change myself; I need to accept myself.

I’m sick because I have allowed work conflicts to take over my life. To eat me up inside: to consume me. Instead of dealing with problems in the moment, or not and letting them go, I let them invade my thoughts and feelings

until my body falls sick.

It’s a warning sign, but lately my body is not bouncing back they way it used to. It’s taking longer to get back on my feet and it’s impacting family and friends around me.

It’s wearing me out.

You would think that after a first serious disconnect between my mind and my body, I would have learned my lesson. And, to some extent, I have; I see things differently. It turns out my mom was right, after all: without good health, you have nothing. But it’s also easy to forget those lessons when you’re feeling better.

Can I accept who I am so that I can heal myself?

It’s a scary proposition, so many skeletons in the closet, so much fear to expose. I’m not going to deny that I’m not thrilled to embark on this journey. What is that expression about the evil you know vs. the evil you don’t know?

Habits are hard to break, especially those habits that serve to protect me, but not in a way that heal and serve me well.

Accepting myself means being curious about myself, about what might be the origin of my triggers. How can I examine them and acknowledge them in order to make peace with them, and then move on with my life?

My husband is waiting.

My children are waiting.

I’m done waiting.